03/14/01
The Mad Horse & The Bear

I seem to remember only a couple of fragments...

In one I was riding in a car (on a bike?--it seemed to be both) with the top down and the wind blowing through my hair. I believe I was on the right side if it was a car. I seemed to be going down the highway I live on, only the countryside was bigger and more open. The sun was shining on the side of my face so it must have been early morning or late evening. I was leaning on one arm with what must have been a blank look on my face. I was thinking of one of my characters who would have been looking the same way. That was when the angle of the sunlight and its particular color struck me. It was that yellowish-orangish tint the sunlight has when it's just getting light or dark. I cast a glance over at the horizon to see if it was getting darker.

No...that strange "darkness" of so many dreams before wasn't moving in, not this time. It was just the angle of the sun that made it seem so when I wasn't directly looking. I think there were clouds on the other horizon, but nothing spectacular. Just the sunrise/set.

I was actually somewhat...disappointed. I WANTED the darkness to fall so suddenly I wouldn't be able to see where I was anymore. As anxiety-producing as those dreams are, I WELCOME them, I wish I could have them more often--I want to FIND OUT what's out there in that darkness making me so anxious, why the darkness comes so quickly! But it wasn't to happen this time, it seemed...

I think it may have been the same dream, I was now definitely with someone as we drove, the other way up this road (which now looked like a backroad not too far from my house, where I ride my bike in summer). We went past a field on my right and I saw a beautiful sleek, dark blackish-brown horse trotting around. (It wasn't much of a field, having lots of bushes and small trees in it. Everything was grayish-green and it was overcast.) I had the person "driving" slow down so I could get a better look, it was such a pretty horse. I think I wanted to get out and pet it. We drove somewhat ahead of it and it trotted along the fence holding it in, then it started...charging!

I instantly got afraid. The horse was obviously mad. It had been beautiful and peaceful looking before, but now it just seemed NASTY! All of a sudden there was a HUGE grizzly bear with me, and he was a close companion of mine--for some reason he went into the horse's "enclosure" (I feel it may have been a wild horse) and the horse ATTACKED him!

Can you believe this? A HORSE, attacking a BEAR!

They fought like mad, the bear mostly to defend himself and me. I just wanted the horse to stop. Something so beautiful acting so hideously! That animal was a monster! Finally it broke off its attack, or else was driven off...I'm not sure what became of the horse, I feel a couple of locals showed up to help...but when I got a look at my bear...it was horrible.

Most of the flesh had been torn from his body. Not just the fur, the SKIN. It had been ripped off in great hunks. The muscles underneath were bared on his side, his head, and in a large section on his neck. I could see the muscles and tendons running along beneath his jaw, down to his shoulder. He wasn't bleeding. But he was torn to shreds. I don't even know if he was still alive or not, I couldn't clearly see his eyes, and he wasn't moving.

I began wailing, though I don't know if I cried. I couldn't stand to see him like that. One of the people with me suggested we try to sew him back up, put his missing hunks of skin back into place, but I didn't see how it would work with how thoroughly mangled he was. I couldn't even bear (no pun intended) to look at him anymore, he was so beyond hope.

This is so strange, I've never had much affinity for horses or ESPECIALLY bears. What the heck could that mean??



2001 Dreams
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