09/24/04
Bad Dad Redux

This is just a vague idea of a dream I remember from yesterday's sleep.

There was a lot more to it but I took no notes. Basically I just remember that I was riding in the passenger side as my dad flew a helicopter down the street. It seemed to be like the highway we live on only more populated, and there were more buildings and people walking all over; it was more like a city with how close the buildings were to the road. If it was the same street we would have been heading north. We were flying this helicopter like it was a car; it could have been no more than a few feet above the ground, as it felt just like I was riding in Dad's SUV. I was rather uninvolved at first, but then the propeller blades managed to catch some random pedestrians who were walking by (people seemed to be walking along sidewalks, across the road, etc.) and chopped them into pieces. Hunks of bloody flesh and meat just went flying every which way. It's not like it totally dismembered anybody but it really tore at least part of them to shreds--just whup-whup-whup, and hunks of human flesh went flying. It did this to at least two or three people in a group. I heard no screams or cries of pain but of course that was awful--those people must have been killed or at least badly wounded (I think the propeller caught them in the torso area)--and I started freaking out and crying. Dad seemed unconcerned and even oblivious to the damage he'd wrought, and just kept flying.

Throughout the rest of the dream I seemed to be trying to confront Dad or others about what he'd done--maybe trying to demand of him, "How could you have done that? Why didn't you get help? Why isn't this upsetting you?" I got so upset each time the subject came up that I'd start gasping for breath and sobbing uncontrollably and could barely speak, so I could never seem to get my point across clearly. I was very frustrated with how Dad was taking it. He seemed surprised by my horror; I felt absolutely awful that he didn't seem to care that he'd killed people out of pure negligence, in such a horrible way. I knew he'd seen what had happened, but he just didn't seem to think it was so important. Nobody else did either though he was the primary one I interacted with. I was almost out of my mind with disbelief--why was I the only one who seemed to care about those poor people?

Not long before going to sleep, in real life, our cable had been shut off for nonpayment and this upset me greatly as I am always the one who has to face Dad about it, and I was very much dreading how he would react on finding out the bill had not been paid on time. (We often don't have the money on time to pay bills, but he refuses to believe that.) I think this dream might have reflected my fear of facing him and how angry he might get. Even though this was not the last dream I had, and I did not even recall it immediately on awaking, I awoke in a very poor mood.



2004 Dreams
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