05/06/04
Where The Wal-Mart Ends
I guess that Ma and I (perhaps also my brother?) were getting ready to go shopping at Wal-Mart. The thing is, we seemed to be making a much bigger deal of it than usual; we shop there weekly for groceries, but here it's almost like we were acting like it was an out-of-city trip just for the fun of it. It was also daytime and bright outside. I was in my room (my windows didn't seem to be covered; maybe the blinds were just drawn) getting dressed, I think; I also believe it was winter or early spring. Ma and Dad were out in the living room waiting for me to finish. (Dad wasn't going, but like I said my brother, who no longer lives in this state, might have been coming.) I suppose I finished dressing but I had to go to the bathroom VERY badly to "number two" so I went in there to do that.
Well, as luck would have it, it just didn't want to come out. >_< I sat on this toilet trying and trying and it was so difficult! I think Ma started yelling, "What's taking you so long?" and I had to yell back at her because I was getting INCREDIBLY frustrated by all this.
"I'M TRYING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!" I shouted. "I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!!"
This just seemed to go on forever. There is a lapse here so I suppose I finally finished and we left. The dream picked up again with us just arriving at the Glen's parking lot, or maybe we were just coming out of Glen's; it seemed to still be daylight but overcast outside now, maybe early evening. It's like we'd just arrived but we were heading back for the car rather than getting out of it. It was parked facing away from Glen's--we were near the China 1 (restaurant) side or the middle of the lot--and I started heading for the passenger-side door on the right. The thing was, the car was parked RIGHT next to this bigger vehicle and there was only about a space of several inches between the two--not even enough room to open my door, much less to squeeze through to it. I don't know if Ma's car was the same as she has in real life, but the vehicle parked next to us was bigger and dark colored, maybe a truck.
I thought about trying to force my way through, but it would be impossible. Instead I turned to Ma as she went toward her door and said, "You'll have to pull away from this guy a bit. I can't get through."
She got in the car, shut the door, and started the engine. The car started to move and I stood there, waiting for her to pull ahead so I could get in and we could drive over to Wal-Mart (next door). But instead...Ma simply drove away without me!! She might have glared at me as she went, but as she drove off I just knew that she was heading over to Wal-Mart on her own and she'd just ABANDONED me here!
I stared after her in disbelief. I knew she was mad at me, but not THAT mad. How petty could somebody be! I started fuming and considered running after the car--she seemed to be taking the driveway out rather than just driving across the lot, I'm not sure--but then abandoned that thought. "Fine!" I thought with irritation. "I'll just walk there on my OWN!"
This was simple enough, as like I said the Wal-Mart is right next door--you can literally drive from the Glen's parking lot, across a little drive, and right into the Wal-Mart lot. So I turned to my right and started walking. There were other people walking around the lot but I ignored them. I was so furious and hurt. I couldn't believe my own mother would just leave me stranded in the parking lot like that, all because I'd been late going to the bathroom! As soon as I caught up with her I believe I intended to let her know how juvenile she was being.
I even started jogging partway across because walking just seemed too slow. I had to be careful though because as I said it was winter or early spring and the lot was crusted with ice and thin snow, and I didn't want to slip. Realizing this just made me even angrier--she hadn't just abandoned me, she'd left me out here in the COLD! I just could not get over that. I really had not thought she could get so mad about something so silly. I had the fear that when I reached the parking lot, I'd have no idea where she had parked, and no idea where she had gone to in the store. (In real life I often have to spend up to ten minutes searching before I can find her!) I wished she hadn't been so rude.
Well, I reached the little drive/road separating the two lots and slowed down. Right at the entrance to the Wal-Mart parking lot stood a man, maybe in glasses, handing out what appeared to be tickets to a bunch of people who were also passing by. There seemed to be a cast-iron or wrought-iron fence or gate, tall and with narrow bars, to both sides of him. I think he was dressed in winter clothing too. I slowed and hesitated here because everybody seemed to be taking tickets from him and I got the feeling I would need tickets just to get into Wal-Mart! When had this policy started? Nobody seemed to be paying for them, but I didn't know the procedure so I was very anxious. I watched a bit longer and finally decided that the tickets must not be mandatory, as I don't think everyone was accepting them, and after all they did seem to be free; they must just be a promotional thing. I started creeping past the guy, trying to make myself as invisible as possible, and he didn't notice me. (He might have had a partner or two, maybe a younger girl.) As I passed I saw the tickets; they were about the size of checks, maybe bigger, but about the same shape, rectangular; they were of some white heavy paper and seemed to be printed in green ink, and I got the impression that they were for a sports event, like a football game. He seemed to be handing out two to every party. That seemed oddly generous. I got past him on his left (my right) side and into the Wal-Mart parking lot.
The layout was much different now from in real life, even though up until now it had basically followed real life. Instead of much of a lot I seemed to go up some kind of set of short, wide steps into this huge entrance, past a lot of milling people, and into Wal-Mart itself, which was also different. I might have entered a huge main room which was like a lobby, aside from the fact that I felt it had the same tiled floor and bright lighting of the average Wal-Mart; very weird. And although this seemed to be the longest, most indepth part of the dream, it's the part I recall least. I know that I went walking around trying to find a doorway for some reason. I think there was something going on in this main part of the Wal-Mart, like a movie or show or event, and I didn't want to be involved. I wanted to go into another part of the store. I didn't seem to be thinking about Ma anymore; maybe I was just curious. I think I was in a dim auditorium-like area at some point; maybe that was the first or second room? I passed through and found a doorway to the left or ahead of me (left when facing the "front" of the room, the side away from the entrance) and went through there. And then I started wandering all over the place.
This was much similar to my old "crypt tunnels" dreams of hidden passageways, only these were like dark, square, wooden passageways. Not small and cramped, but sloping all over and going all over the place. Several times I would come to doors or exit into rooms but there didn't really seem to be many people in this side of the store (I had the feeling I was heading further away from the Glen's side, which would be closer to the edge of town, further away from downtown). It seemed to get emptier the further I went. I finally started getting rather anxious of either getting lost or of going into a room I wasn't supposed to--I felt I might get in trouble--so I started trying to find a door back to the "regular" part of the store. Easier said than done. :/ I just kept wandering and wandering. I never felt totally LOST, but I was truly getting confused and anxious. I just did not want to trespass where I wasn't wanted. I get the feeling of a friendly lady with a high-pitched voice; maybe she had advised me to keep away from somewhere earlier as it was off limits? I wrote down "guide/kitten/?? when lost?"--maybe the friendly woman was like a guide, or there was a kitten who seemed to be the guide; can't remember. I guess that after a lot of wandering I at last found my way back toward the regular part of the store, but it really took a while. It seems I completely forgot about the situation with Ma.
They're So Much Smaller When Removed
This is just vague images by now, without so much as a plot; sorry!
I seem to be fixated on bathtubs in my dreams. The other day I dreamed that when I twisted the hot-water handle (which is pretty much just a nut-and-bolt-like thing since the handle broke off long ago), it broke and it plus a section of tiling SANK back into the wall! In real life there's already a hole around it in the tiling where you can see the pipes, and the nut or whatever always needs to be tightened else it will slip when turning and the water will be left running. The day before this dream (in real life) I believe the nut had loosened when I was using it and I meant to tell Dad but forgot, as I was so anxious of upsetting him. (He blames me for trying to tighten it too much, when the truth is, I can't stand it when the water is left trickling! I just wish the dumb thing worked! >_< ) Perhaps that dream came from that anxiety. (Dad tightened the nut again on his own.)
Well...this dream featured our bathtub, though not the hot-water handle. For some reason I guess Ma had removed the tub from the bathroom and was now sitting on the couch, holding it on her lap. I was sitting on the floor over near the heater; it was nighttime and the light was on. Ma was looking at the tub and I said, "It looks a whole lot smaller once it's been removed."
I mean it, this thing WAS a lot smaller. In real life, I am five feet tall and I cannot lie at full length in the bathtub; I can either submerge my upper half and keep my knees bent, or I can stretch out my legs and keep my back straight up. I am only five feet tall and I can't even stretch out in our tub! >:/ So that gives some idea of how big it really is. Well, the one Ma was now holding was a LOT smaller. Maybe two or three feet long or a bit longer? A foot or so wide? It was big and gawky to hold but nowhere near the size of even a small tub. Plus, our tub is porcelain I think, and it's thick and rectangular, like four walls, and embedded into the floor and three walls--it CAN'T be removed, not without tearing up the floor and walls. This tub that Ma was holding seemed to be made of fiberglass, kind of offwhite or cream colored (the real tub is white), kind of lumpy/fibrous, and even though it was basically rectangular, its edges were rounded off and at least one side of it bent over (like stiffened cloth) so it looked as if it could be hooked over something. In short, the bottom appeared to be built more like a standing tub than one embedded into the floor, unless something were meant to be poured or filled in around it. Hard to explain, I guess. It seemed terribly flimsy for a tub, and the material didn't even look like it would hold water. Ma was holding it and looking it over and running her hands along one edge which had dark stains or dirt on it and I started squirming in disgust. It was FILTHY--I hated that she was touching it so casually! I hate filth! Especially touching it!
The whole time this was happening I was holding some sort of rodent in my hand, a rat or a hamster, and I had to squeeze it a little bit as it kept squirming and I didn't want it to get away. I guess it was my pet. I wanted to put it down as I was trying to do something but I had to keep holding on to it, like its cage was being cleaned or was in use or something; I don't know. *shrug* The only other thing I remember is going out into the utility room for some reason and seeing a little (5lbs or smaller) bag of small animal food mix sitting on the freezer; I think I'd been about to give the rodent some bird food, then I saw that and remembered, "Oh yeah, I bought it some food of its own." It was typical rodent feed, with seeds and orange-colored pellets and such. Maybe I had just gotten this pet and had yet to get it all the supplies I needed, but at least the food had been taken care of.
2004 Dreams
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