02/20/04
The Long Arm Of Ma, AKA The Crappiest Lucid Dream Ever!

Well sheesh. I finally have another lucid dream and THIS is what happens! >_<

I dozed off while recording Inuyasha last night. This was after the commercial break, which I paused out, and it was a new tape so I had no worry of recording over the next episode. I still thought I had shut it off when the show ended, but I guess the dream got in the way.

Big O comes on after Inuyasha, and for a while I heard some of the dialogue from that in my dream; I specifically remember a line that went something like, "Oh, there'll be enough fish to keep us fed for the next three thousand years!" It was the episode where Roger and Angel were trapped deep underwater in a skyscraper or something ("The Call From The Past," I believe). I haven't watched the episode in years (I scanned it the day before, but that's fast-forwarding without audio), so there's no way I could have memorized the line recently; it must have slipped into my dream. There was more dialogue of course but that's the only line I specifically remember.

Anyway, I was dozing sitting upright, with my blanket covering my arms which rested against my lap. It felt like I had the remote in my hand (beneath the blanket) and I pointed it at the TV and started trying to turn it off or something...maybe I in fact was trying to stop the VCR? (That uses a different remote.) Or maybe I was trying to change the channel? Whatever I was doing...the TV wasn't responding. Not one bit. I kept trying this and trying this and it WOULD NOT WORK! I could even FEEL the remote button under my finger, and the TV would not turn off. Either this clued me in, or I just attempted to keep myself from freaking out by saying, "This is a dream!"

Well...I can't be sure if I really WAS lucid, or just thought I was. But it felt like I was lucid. I started groping around for the remote which I thought now sat beside me on the couch, to my right, thinking, "Maybe I can turn it off if I really have the remote in my hand." I don't know if I ever got it, but I still could not turn off the TV. I said, "This is a dream--turn off, turn off!" And it wouldn't turn off! This pissed me off because I realized on some level that this was a lucid dream--why wasn't the TV obeying me? Every other time I've had a lucid dream (and I am NOT a good lucid dreamer--the few times I've had them, they just came to me for no reason, and in the most lucid one all I managed to do was...fall over! (see "MY FIRST LUCID DREAM! :D")), the mere fact of me stating it's a dream has been enough to prompt some sort of control or change over the situation. Not so here!

I think I then grew upset and started trying to wake myself up. First I tried screaming...but all that came out was a whimpering moan. I couldn't raise my voice! Then I decided to try to move my arms--although I'd already HAD to move them, apparently, to get the remote (if I really had), it's like I hadn't moved them at all, now. I looked down at the blanket covering them and saw that it still covered them up. I could see their shapes beneath it. I started trying to move them and it was VERY difficult...sludgy...and they would not move! I think one shifted a bit, but I was practically trying to FLAIL them, without luck. I thought, "Well, when you're dreaming, the brain shuts down your muscles' ability to work, just so you won't flail around and hurt yourself." But then I thought, "Well DAMN IT, I'm having a LUCID DREAM! I SHOULD be able to move!!"

Nope; no sound, no movement. So I couldn't even wake myself up properly! >_< I think I almost dragged myself out of sleep a few times, but failed. I then glanced toward the dining room, where Ma was seated out at the computer, and...I saw her left arm...and it was REALLY LONG...I mean, it stretched ALL the way from the computer, through the dining room, and down into the living room as if she were made of elastic! This big long arm just reaching into the room with her hand lying on the floor near the TV! O_o I remember specifically that she was wearing this fuzzy gray yarn sweater (she doesn't have one that I know of in real life), because that's what the arm was clothed in. Ma herself was just playing on the computer, oblivious to her monstrously long arm. It didn't even appear to have bones or joints in it, it was just like a big thick strand of spaghetti or something. It seemed to be draped over one of the dining room chairs.

I stared at this weird arm and thought, "Now if THAT isn't a sign that I'm lucid dreaming, then I don't know WHAT is!" But I still couldn't do anything!

Well, I believe I finally managed to drag myself out of sleep...but then I dozed off again, as Ma was still playing on the computer (in real life, sans long arm). I wasn't aware of what was on TV now. And I had ANOTHER somewhat lucid dream. In this one, I somehow ended up playing on the computer myself; it was still probably around the same time of night. I was working in Wordpad, I believe--maybe typing up that dream? Anyway, I closed Wordpad to finish what I was doing, and...it's like the computer suddenly parked itself (energy-saving mode). Then it came out of park, then went back into it. This computer sometimes gives us trouble in park mode so this bothered me--why was it doing this? Then I think the icons on the desktop went black or disappeared or something--all sorts of funky things started happening. I grew REALLY upset. I tried to do a Control+Alt+Delete and instead of bringing up the little menu of programs you can shut down, it brought up a big light gray status bar. Every time I clicked Control+Alt+Delete, the bar would go a little more yellow--about three keystrokes would be enough to make it reach completion, at which point it would start over again. I abruptly stopped doing this as I had no idea what that status bar even meant--WHAT was being completed? Was I DELETING things from the hard drive? I didn't want to do any more Control+Alt+Deletes if this was the case--but I had no clue how to shut the thing down!

Ma came out and stood beside me to see what was going on. I gave her a despairing look--more keystrokes was all I could think of to do, even if I was potentially harming the hard drive. :( So again I tried Control+Alt+Delete, and again, and again. The status bar kept filling up and restarting and filling up and restarting. As it did this, messages in big white print kept appearing above it. I think at first it had said something about refinancing your home (Spam influence??), but then every time I did a keystroke, it would bring up a different short message. I just kept typing and typing as fast as I could for some reason, as if doing it enough times would shut the computer down. At some point I thought, "I should try keeping track of what those messages are saying for when I wake up; what if they say something interesting or important?"--meaning that I finally achieved at least limited lucidity in THIS dream, too. But I was in too much of a hurry to bother keeping track of the messages--maybe a part of me knew I would not remember them on awakening?--so I just kept typing and typing and typing. UGH frustrating!

I finally awoke around eight after one AM to see that I had in fact not stopped the VCR, and had recorded the beginning of Big O on my Inuyasha tape. This surprised me, as I had been at least half awake during the end theme of Inuyasha--at least I remembered hearing it, and preparing myself to stop the tape--so I had assumed I'd stopped it. I must have dozed off really fast! As I fell asleep during the second half of Inuyasha and awoke during the first half of Big O, this whole dream then took place between around 12:45 (maybe even later, if the end theme is taken into account) and 1:08 AM.

Like I said...I finally have another lucid dream, the first one in months, and...I can't do a thing about it! Cripes! >_<



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