09/04/03
Lucid Flying! Yeeeeeeee! :D

This, from my nap, was not so much an actual dream as an image, but it was a lot of fun while I was having it. :)

Again, I napped through The Rockford Files and so again some of the dialogue made its way into the dream, but not in any dream format that I can recall. I think I was just hearing what was being said. At some point I suddenly and inexplicably found myself hovering over a large body of water...I was going to say lake, but I believe it had alligators in it, so it might have been swamp somewhere in Florida. The water was kind of dingy green--that is, more opaque than clear--the kind of water you'd find in a swamp, I guess. It was wide and not littered with trees or algae or whatever, but I remember some land or swampland with shrubs and trees being way off to the sides; it seemed more clear to my left, but I sensed/saw "land" ahead of me and maybe there was some off behind me or to my right. So this body of water might have led to the ocean or into something else. It was hot and sunny out, just as should be expected.

I was way above this water and then I suddenly went SWOOPING down over it!! Now I am terrified to death of heights and water, so of course this scared the hell out of me! I was even more frightened when I saw some large indistinct black shapes just below the water closer to the shore/treeline--they looked rather like wide logs or broken planks or something, but I knew they were likely alligators. YIKES!! I was plunging right toward them! :O Just as I came down over them, however, I managed to pull up at the last minute and avoid plunging into the water. I did this kind of weird spiraling, swinging, spinning thing over the trees, going up, up, up, like the way a leaf twirls down to the ground only in reverse. Holy CRAP but my stomach was full of butterflies!! I'm not sure if I realized just now or if I had known all along, but at some point I knew this was a dream--that was how I had known to pull up to avoid hitting the water. Some lucidity had come in and I had controlled my flight! :D

I was still rather jittery from all of this, however, and the image faded from my mind as I was ascending over the trees...

I dozed some more, upright on the couch. I had no vision of anything and only limited hearing of what was on TV. I was half-awake, half-asleep, rather than completely one or the other. So I had some control over my dreams that I guess I wouldn't otherwise have. I had the lucidity of knowing I was just dreaming, and really sitting on the couch in my own living room, yet I was asleep enough that I could have another dream and CONTROL it!

I remembered the feeling I'd gotten in my stomach as I flew over the water, and even though it had been frightening, it had also been rather like being on a fair ride--a good frightening feeling. It was like being on the Tilt-A-Whirl, or on a big swing. I wanted to do it again and so I thought, and the image of the green water faded into view again. Again I was hovering way above it, and this time, on purpose, I went swooping down over it. Wheeeeeeeee!

And again I remembered to pull myself up before I could hit the water, and did that weird reverse spiraling thing into the air. My stomach did lurches and tied in knots but it was FUN! :)

That second time, I do not think there were alligators present, though there might have been something else in the water. Maybe I simply got rid of them because I did not want them there? They had provided a sense of fear in the first part of the dream, as I had not wanted to deal with them--in fact, I was still afraid of going into the water itself, it was the HEIGHTS I was conquering--so maybe that's why they vanished. I just really did not like the thought of putting my feet or anything in the water lest something grab hold of me. But I still knew it was just a dream and I managed to control my flying. Which was VERY weird, as I can NEVER control my flight in dreams. Probably due to my acrophobia, I always end up lurching and tumbling and jerking all over in a very uneasy fashion, as if I'm tangled in a harness; but in this dream I knew I could not get hurt by falling as long as I controlled myself, and so that was what I did.

I just realized it right there, I felt I still COULD get hurt, but only if I lost control. I WOULD still have tumbled into that water if I hadn't flown over it instead!

I know I did this at least twice, maybe once more, before awakening for good. Now, while it had been happening, I'm pretty certain I knew I was really on the couch, and that I was calling up the dream image purposefully, and controlling it, fully conscious of what I was doing. Yet after awakening and being awake for a while, it feels hazy. I have to sit here and wonder, was I REALLY lucid? Or did I just dream that I was? I have to state that I have felt this way after every semi-lucid dream I have so far described in my dream journal. They felt lucid enough while I was having them, but after waking up I am left in serious doubt. I really can't tell if I was actually lucid, or just dreaming that I was. How on Earth does one figure that out?? O_o

After awakening, I halfheartedly tried closing my eyes and conjuring up the image of the water and seeing if I could fly over it and get that feeling in my stomach, the feeling of it really happening, like on a fair ride. I KNOW I can imagine the water well enough, and me flying over it, but no physical sensation came. :( I'm sensing that I would have to be somewhere between sleep and wakefulness in order for it to work again, and of course, when I'm in that state, I'm usually too far gone to remember to consciously do anything, else I would probably spend that time making out with my character Damien or something. ^_^; *sigh*



2003 Dreams
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