05/21/03
Return Of The Rash
This dream, from my nap, was inspired, obviously, by a couple of bug bites I've acquired on my arm. I don't know where they came from; they just appeared. One is on the side of my hand, the other on my lower arm. I sat on the couch and briefly puzzled over whether we might have fleas or not, because I certainly hadn't gone outside that day.
I then took a nap and dreamed that I was scratching my arm madly. I think I started scratching my knee too. I sat up on the couch and noticed that I had a horrible RASH spreading up my arm! And up my other arm, and over my knees and legs! In real life a while back I actually DID have a mysterious rash which covered almost every part of my body, aside from my face, back, and genital region; to this day I still don't know what caused it, but it was so horrible and itchy. Not having a clue how to get rid of it, I had to wait it out. I wish I knew what it had been! Anyway, in my dream I sat on Dad's side of the couch and quailed, fearing that this might be the same ailment! How had I gotten it? How long had I had it and how far had it spread? I panicked just as I had in real life and stopped scratching, hurrying to go wash my hands though I felt it was futile. I'd been scratching away at it for a while before noticing it wasn't just a bite anymore! I dreaded the thought of that rash spreading to my FACE this time!
(In real life, also, many years ago I had to miss the last day of elementary school because I had such bad poison ivy it had spread to my face. I loved that school and hated missing it. *sigh*)
On Thin Ice
This dream, from my nap, involved ice. I so wish I could remember it more. I know I was inside a building whose structure, at least in this part, vaguely resembled the bus hall at the elementary school--that hall outside the gym/cafeteria, where the students would wait for the buses to arrive. It was dark outside, night, and winter. It was dark inside, too, and all bluish. I was with others though I don't know who they were. I went walking down this hall and I think I started to go outside the door--I believe I saw something outside that drew my attention (the hall had these big windows and glass doors you could see out of)--but as soon as I set foot outside and started walking, I realized I was on thin ice. Literally! This wasn't pavement out here, as I'd thought it was. It was ICE! Leading practically up to the door itself! There wasn't any land to walk on!! I think I tapped it with my foot, just out of curiosity, and it cracked. It was leading away into unfrozen water, the edges of it just kind of sunken beneath the surface, sloping downward. All blue and black and dim white. I turned and headed back, trying to keep calm and not go fast else I'd break through. I got back inside and then walked around in the hallway a bit and now it seemed like part of the hall floor itself was also ice. I pondered this in curiosity.
I think right after this a girl--teenager?--college student?--went to go outside and maybe I held the door for her? I know at first I didn't warn her about the danger. I had a thought of her stepping outside and--*sploosh!*--vanishing right through the ice into the freezing water below. And this greatly amused me. Yes, I had this sudden, unexplainable cruel streak in this dream, though I think I was going to find a way to stop her from walking onto the REALLY thin ice, or to save her once she'd gone through. Perhaps this was a lake we were on, and maybe something I had seen on the other side had first triggered my curiosity and then my surprising discovery?
I can only think to compare this dream to my "I Am The Wendigo!" dream of a little while ago. I had that same feeling of malice at the expense of others, plus the ice makes me think of the wendigo, too. Were the two dreams related somehow?
I think there was more concerning us walking around in this dark building and why we were surrounded by icy water, but it's sadly faded by now.
No Place To Rest
One dream fragment right before I woke up for good from my nap concerned my mom coming into the room to go to sleep. I was napping on the couch (although awake, kind of dozing) when she came into the room, carrying her blanket (so what was I covered with?) with a dejected look on her face. For some reason she couldn't sleep where she was supposed to--which was the couch, which I was on--and she went to lie down on the chair beside it. Now, it's impossible to lie down on a chair and be comfortable--I saw her kind of curl up tightly, and knew she must be miserable. I think I offered to scootch to the side but she shook her head. Somehow, even if I were to offer her the whole couch, something in this dream was beyond my control; I knew I could not make her happy, no matter what I offered her. Something greater than we were was influencing her happiness and where she was able to sleep. I wasn't responsible for her sadness, though it seemed like I should be since I was the one taking up the couch; something else was upsetting her.
I remember getting up (it was nighttime, of course, and the lights were all on) and turning to look at her, feeling bad that she felt so bad cramped up on the chair like that. But now I saw that she seemed to be lying on a bigger area so she could at least stretch out a little, as if the chair had gotten bigger or as if she were lying on part of the couch itself. This puzzled me, but at least she seemed a bit more comfortable, even if whatever the underlying problem was hadn't been resolved yet. I wished I could make her happy but had no idea how.
I Don't Do This In Real Life, I Swear
Now here is an awkward dream from my nap. It's not so much a dream as just a scene from one; I can't remember the context it went in, even. I REALLY, REALLY hate to describe this so I'll have to be as vague as I can...please remember I don't dream these things on purpose, and merely having such dreams upsets me greatly.
Basically...there was some sort of animal--a big dog or a horse, I can't remember which--and I was...well, crouching on the ground(?) on all fours and offering myself to this thing in a very inappropriate manner. >_<;;; I can't remember if I was partially clothed or naked, but at the very least I wasn't fully dressed. This is so embarrassing. I was even trying to act somewhat like an animal in an effort to get the creature interested. It was either a large yellowish(?) dog like a Lab, or a horse. I think it...he, I should say...stood off to the side and was giving me this puzzled look, as if wondering what I was doing. And what's worst is that I did not feel the GUILT I usually feel during such dreams--I really did want this animal to come to me, with no reservations, and I was trying really hard to convince it/him to do so. I felt frustrated that it/he seemed reluctant to comply. Gah!! Why do I keep having such dreams... >_<
Fortunately the dream went no further than that, thank God. I just remember I kept cocking my head and making these little murmuring/whimpering noises to try to get the animal to approach and I was wondering why the hell it/he wouldn't take me up on my offer. Ugh. I think I have some issues or something. If you try to interpret, please keep an open mind. I'm not into zoophilia or whatever name it goes by nowadays. Ick.
2003 Dreams
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