05/12/03
I Am The Wendigo!

This was a very interesting dream for me! Even though very little happened that I can recall.

I can't remember how it began even though I wish I could. I was at home and it was either nighttime or very early morning, dark blue outside and chilly, possibly wet. I got the sudden urge, for some reason, to go outside, and I did so by passing through the door. Not by opening it, but by just passing through it, ghostlike. It's like I had to try this a couple of times before getting it right or something, but I was impressed with myself. I guess I just didn't want any obstacles in my way. I suddenly felt very powerful and proud.

I passed down the steps and zoomed toward the highway at supernatural speed. Like I said it was dark blue out; it felt like night, as when I had been in the house the lights had been on and I think Ma and maybe Dad were awake, but I also got the feeling that buses would be picking up children soon, so perhaps it was early morning. It may have been autumn, early/late winter, or spring; I had the feeling snow was possible, though rain was more likely, and it was glistening and wet out. I went toward the highway and then started running south--only I didn't quite run. I ran on all fours. I would stretch my arms out ahead of me, dig my fingernails into the earth (perhaps I was on the shoulder of the road?--I seemed to be on the highway itself, though I remember digging my nails into something), and pull myself forward, my feet meeting the ground. This was not as difficult as it seemed, for I was now doing it at incredible speed, making incredible progress, even though I never seemed to leave the stretch of highway that extends south before the junction that leads to the elementary school.

The wind whipped past me and I felt larger and larger, like I was getting bigger, though also like I stayed the same. And now I started to roleplay. I thought, "Wouldn't it be great if I were a wendigo? That's it! I'm a WENDIGO!" This brought a maniacal grin to my face as I imagined what poor hapless humans would look like if they were to see me now, this tall thin incredibly fast monster zooming down the highway!

A little background here for those who don't know. The wendigo (also known as the windigo, witiko, etc.) is a character from northern Native American mythology, in particular that of the Ojibwa and Cree, I believe. (The northeast coast/Algonquin tribes, such as the Micmac and Passamaquoddy, have a similar figure known as the Chenoo.) Basically, it's a gaunt, giant cannibal who arrives with the cold and ice to snatch up unwary humans who travel alone in the winter. It arrives in a gust of howling wind, and whispers the person's name until they go insane and try to run away. The wendigo then swoops down and catches them by the arms, dragging them along until their feet burn off, then carrying them up into the sky. It may then drop them from a great height, or, of course, consume them whole. The wendigo is an awful creature that eats and eats and eats, but can never get full. Instead it just grows taller and thinner. They say that its very lips are gnawed away out of hunger, and it represents starvation and excess or greed and selfishness. According to one storyline, the wendigo was once a human who with the aid of a medicine man became the monster he is today. It has a heart of coldest, hardest ice, and the only way it can be destroyed is if one can tear out this heart and break it into little pieces and melt it entirely. Some of the northern tribes feared walking about alone in winter because the wendigo was always waiting for its next meal.

There is even a psychosis, mostly restricted to the northern regions, named after this creature--the wendigo psychosis. This is when people go crazy in the middle of winter--their minds snap, possibly from cabin fever, being cooped up for so long--and they start to consume human flesh like a beast. I'm not making this up; it's true. Go look it up at Google if you want. (Though you might also want to try "windigo psychosis," as that may be the more common spelling.)

Anyway...in my dream, suddenly, I was now pretending, and had in essence become, a wendigo. In particular I felt I might have been a "geebi," a type of wendigo or spirit native to the Ojibwa region (northern Michigan). In my fiction I created a character named Augwak, who is the chief of the "GeeBees," as my story spells the word (also spelled jeebi or chibi and meaning, in essence, "ghost"). I might have been him, and I crooked my bony fingers and grinned, baring my teeth, as I knew that he would. I ran and ran and ran ever faster, traveling with the wind.

I sped down the highway, past houses, and seemed to laugh or talk to myself the entire time. I think I was mildly worried that I would interfere with somebody--perhaps people getting ready to go to school?--or perhaps I was afraid of going so far that I'd get lost and not know how to get back home. But at the same time I felt an intense feeling of freedom and power. I couldn't believe I was moving so FAST! With hardly any effort, too! I can't remember what I was saying to myself, but I do think I repeated, "I'm a wendigo--I'm a wendigo," over and over, growing ever more gleeful and speedy with each declaration. My fingers tore through the ground as I went and I relished in the slight destruction and fear I must be causing.

I passed a road to my left--it might be like a road that is really there in real life--then skidded to a halt without actually stopping, spun around on one hand, and propelled myself toward it. "Taking a sideroad--can't keep going straight--take a sideroad and not get caught," I muttered to myself as I went. I figured that the longer I went southward along the highway, the greater were my chances of some fighters of evil coming and restraining or trying to capture me, so I decided to turn left on this sideroad and wreak havoc in a different area. I still ran on all fours, but it was almost like my head was over treetop level, as I could see the road extending before me into the distance. It was a dirt road, leading through the woods, and I delighted in the thought of passing down it, possibly toward a more populated area (I sensed there was an old, rickety neighborhood back there), and pulling up earth or smashing houses with little chance of being caught. The dream began to fade as I traveled up this road.

I awoke on my right side, I believe, on the couch, just as I had been sleeping during my nap. I stretched my arms out as best I could, considering I faced the back of the couch, and...my hands felt so numb. Not as if they did not exist, but as if I had slept on my arms and my hands had fallen completely asleep. I barely had control over my own fingers, they were so numb!

I sat up and flexed my fingers weakly, rising and going out to meet Ma, who I think was at the computer. The TV was on, but I can't remember what it was airing. "I had this dream I was a wendigo, and I was racing down the highway on my hands and feet!" I exclaimed, holding up my hands and wiggling my fingers. "I passed right through the door like it wasn't even there. And my hands are so numb!" I felt very impressed with the dream, though Ma was rather neutral about it.

And sometime somewhere after this, I awoke for real. My hands were not numb, though that part of the dream had seemed incredibly real. The part with the wendigo, the dream within a dream, felt almost lucid--now I remember, as I had passed through the door, I had known, to an extent, that I was dreaming, and that was why I had allowed myself to run so wild like that--but as is always the case, the outer dream ITSELF, with the numb hands, I did not recognize to not be reality. It felt that real.



2003 Dreams
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