03/22/03
Take That, Snooty Guys!
This dream is from my nap of 3/20/03.
I can't remember what was on TV while I dreamed this; I think it was an action movie on USA. If so, it probably influenced what happened. The whole beginning part, if it is in fact the same dream, is very vague and confused by now. I have the feeling that eating was involved; then there were a lot of people in my house, in the dining room area, though the colors and such were different, lighter. Maybe pastels? There were some rather snooty guys--they did not like me or my opinion on something, and looked down their noses at me. I think they were older men. But then I had my own group of guys on MY side and they were fending the snooty guys off in an amused manner.
I think the snooty guys might have been chasing me around the dining room table, but then the guys on my side all grouped together so they blocked the snooty guys' path. I now seemed to be in the kitchen just watching; the group of good guys, as one big mass, moved slowly toward the living room (they were on the opposite side of the table, closer to the window), pushing the snooty guys ahead of them as a plow pushes snow. Somehow, this allowed me to escape (even though I already seemed to be fine) as the snooty guys could no longer follow me. Hooray! I was amused now also as all these people were helping me, so I knew I was not alone in this matter.
I believe that these two were the same dream; whether they were or not, this then shifted into "The Walls Are Weeping Blood!"
The Walls Are Weeping Blood!
This dream is from my nap of 3/20/03.
This dream shifted out of "Take That, Snooty Guys!" though I THINK it was the same one. I'm not sure how but I ended up at some big inner-city school. (I may have been in a classroom at one point, but I'm not sure.) It had more than one story and seemed very, very big and spacious; not at all like any of the schools I've ever attended. None of my schools have ever risen above one story, except the community college, which I think was two stories. This seemed even taller. Picture a high school as it appears in those inner-city gang flicks--everything nicked and chipped, cavernous halls full of lockers, old and rundown looking, maybe with metal bars or chains on the doors. Something like that. I was now a detective, I think, and I was searching this school (if it was a school--it may have been a warehouse or something, but I feel it was meant to be a school) for a criminal or a crime scene or...something.
I identified with my police character Det. Justin Reichert for some reason. He has not appeared in any of my writing, though he appears in an unwritten story plot. He's gay (though closeted at first) and was nearly a victim of the September 11th attack on the Twin Towers. I'm not sure if this information matters or not, but...for some reason I felt I was or should be him, roleplaying, almost, and I was checking out this big empty school. Another detective, maybe Max Kristeva (another character of mine, and an abuse survivor), was about, also looking around, and we felt there might be gunmen or something on a higher floor.
I came to a big stairwell which bent at right angles as it ascended and started going up, keeping myself close to the wall and holding out my gun to my side with arms extended. At least I THINK I had a gun. Everything was yellowish tinted, so I think the walls might have been a sickly yellow, and late afternoon light was shining through the windows. I went upstairs silently, feeling very tense.
I came out into this huge upper room. It looked like a gymnasium and I felt it was high up, maybe a third story; I think it was the top story of the building. VERY high and huge and spacious. There seemed to be bars of some kind, or beams, crossing the ceiling in parts--wooden or maybe metal. Again, it was yellowish and somewhat rundown. The floor was shiny, but probably scuffed. I think it was wooden. I started to walk across the floor a bit and the other detective joined me (I never actually looked at him, but I knew he was there). We stood here in puzzlement. Where were the bad guys we were looking for?
A voice came to us then, which may in fact have been carryover from the TV in real life. It said something in this melodramatic voice; I think it may have been female. It just came out of nowhere and exclaimed, "The walls are weeping blood!"
We both looked up in surprise. There may have been a balcony area overlooking the gym, or it may have been just rusted metal bars, but way up on the right side we noticed now that there was some drying blood trickling down the wall from the ceiling. We stared at this in some curiosity and moved closer to get a better look, though it was very high up. We both thought the same thing now, that there might be a body up there. (Apparently there was now ANOTHER level to the school, maybe an attic or storage room with a wooden, porous floor through which the blood had seeped.) If there was a dead body up there, then our bad guys were likely up there as well.
We set off to find out. I don't remember us actually making our way up to this higher level, but we ended up in ANOTHER wide, spacious room, yet with a much lower ceiling; it was very atticlike, dusty and dull but not very cluttered. This part gets confusing again and was probably influenced by what was on TV, but I like how it ended because it was so final! My own role in things was also mixed up; I seemed to be one of the gunmen, but I can't tell if I was a good guy or a bad guy. Suddenly there were a WHOLE BUNCH of bad guys AND good guys and neutral guys up here, and they were all after the same thing. There were men and women; I remember at least one gunwoman. They all had handguns and as soon as we got here, everyone engaged in a Mexican standoff. Nobody really knew who the good or bad guys were and it didn't really matter, because everybody was looking out for only themselves. All of a sudden every gun was aimed at somebody else's head!
But like I said--we didn't really know WHO to shoot, or who would shoot us. So--ZIP!--like that, everybody spun around and aimed at somebody else, all on cue. And then ZIP!--they did it again. It was very funny to watch. (I was pointing a gun too.) Like the whole thing had been choreographed this way--everybody spun around to aim at somebody else, all at once. And every head was accounted for.
And then everybody fired all at the same time, and everybody fell over dead. ^_^
Well...actually, they took time to die. Now I was back to being Reichert or whoever I was (somehow my partner and I escaped death), and I was assessing the damage. And now ALL of the dying bad and good and neutral guys were turning into stuffed toys. I came to one guy (bad?) who looked like Radar from MASH, I think, and he was complaining and crying weakly as he expired. He turned into a stuffed frog toy with big google eyes, I believe. I think he was complaining because he did not want to turn into a frog, but that was his form after death. I walked over to another one who had turned into an orange fuzzy goose toy with a long neck. I picked this one up and smiled at it wistfully. For some reason, I had wanted to know what sort of stuffed animals all these people were. Now, with their deaths, I finally knew.
I realize this is a very odd ending to what started out as a relatively normal dream, but well, that's the way they go. o_o;
"What I've Forgotten..."
I had this dream during my nap last night. I didn't take note of it as I thought it would stick with me better than usual. The first part is very vague, but the latter parts stick with me simply because they remind me of that series of "abuse" dreams I had not long ago.
Like I said, the beginning is vague...I know I was with some people, maybe in a restaurant/tavern or something. At least one other person was with me throughout the dream and stayed by my side. I morphed into the character of Bobby Goren from Law & Order: Criminal Intent and thereafter I remained him. The dream shifted into an account of what was supposed to have been his life and experiences, what had made him who he was today.
We ended up walking into this big back room, maybe going down a hallway. The walls were all dark wood--everything dark brown--I find this color comforting. It reminds me of very old dreams. Dark wood and warm light; it would always soothe me. I haven't dreamed of that in ages. Carpeted, and quiet, and dimly lit back here. I think someone was leading us (the other person with me MIGHT have been my partner, Alex Eames), but they were not within sight; we were following them. In this back room, behind a corner to the left, there was yet another back room with the light on, burning brighter than the (unseen) lights in the current room.
As we passed by a sort of little table or something (maybe a little mini pool table?) on the left, my attention was drawn to some little toys sitting atop it. I gasped when I noticed that one was TURTLE! Turtle! In real life, Turtle was a little plastic toy turtle of mine. I used to play with lots of little plastic animals and acted out all their adventures. Turtle was the best friend of Kitten, but he had a bad habit of always disappearing for ages, leaving poor Kitten on his own. These were the times when I would lose my Turtle toy, and had to make up a story behind his absence from my games. Turtle and Kitten were my favorites; they were such good friends. But I hated how Turtle was always disappearing. Kitten put up with it well, but I sensed it hurt him. (Remember--I was a kid back when I used to play this.) Then finally I lost Turtle for good, and never saw him again. :( To this day I'm not sure where he went. It's odd that I was always losing Turtle, but never Kitten. I can't understand it. I like to imagine maybe they found each other and went off on an adventure or something. Turtle and Kitten represent a very important part of my childhood, and of learning about how friends will not always be there for you.
Anyway...I spotted Turtle here on this table...and I could not believe it! I TRIED to make myself follow the man(?) back to the other room, but I had to halt and backtrack to the table to pick up the toy. I was so elated to see him! I spotted now at least one other turtle toy that looked almost exactly like him, except it was all in dark brown colors, maybe dark brown with a lighter brown shell, like wood; so I picked it up too. I might as well take along this alternate edition Turtle! And there was at least one more toy, but I'm not sure if it was another turtle or not; I think it might have been slightly bigger. It came with me as well. My partner, whoever it was, stopped and watched me as I did this. I could have jumped for joy! Instead, I scooped the toys into my hands and started forward again with a big grin.
Well, we continued, but now I turned and to my RIGHT, in the bigger, opener section of this room...it was empty of furniture and cast in shadows as there was no light over here, and looked as if it should be part of an attic or some such...I spotted some other things. These were not things from my real-life childhood, at least that I can remember; I think they were meant to be from Goren's childhood. (Remember, I was in Bobby Goren's persona.) The objects over here, lying on the floor, looked to be old videogames from the Eighties or some such...you know, Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, that sort of thing. Bweep-bweep-bweep-boop, with all the sound effects. They were large and clunky, like old-fashioned Ataris or something; but their build reminded me of little mini pinball machines. Do you know those home pinball machines you could get, just set it on the floor and play with it? They were kind of like that, but I knew they were supposed to be old videogames from Goren's childhood. And now it was HE who was remembering, and I turned slowly to look at these things just lying in the dark like that.
My earlier childish enthusiasm died a bit, growing more into confusion and...I'm not sure if there's a word for how I was feeling. Reminisce has too good of a connotation for how I felt; I guess I was pensive. Thoughtful. I halted and stared at these videogames and I think I said something, but I'm not sure what. I believe I was remarking on the games and how I remembered them, what they meant to me. They meant my childhood, which I knew had not been a pleasant thing. I sort of felt like going over and grabbing them up, too.
I turned, again to follow the person (an older man?) who had been leading us, and in the wall ahead of me, on my right when facing the next, lit room, was a door. It didn't seem to be full height like a regular door, but was shorter, and not built the same as a regular door...you know how regular doors have those indentations in them? It's just the way they're built? This one was flat, just cheap wood or board, medium brown, handle on the right, I think, and it was maybe as high as I am tall or slightly shorter. (I was Goren, but I seemed to be my own height.) It looked more like an attic door than a regular door. As I stared at this door, my pensive attitude grew. I knew this door represented something from my childhood, something lost. Something forgotten. Something possibly good, and possibly bad. Maybe even both. I sensed it was bad, but I had to remember it for some reason.
I really roleplayed the part of Goren right now. I can't remember exactly what I said, but again I commented on the door, and I slowly walked toward it, reaching out my hand toward the handle, my partner/friend standing off to my side and the other person maybe watching from the other room. I believe what I said before reaching it was, "What I've forgotten." The door represented everything I'd forgotten, and now needed to remember.
I think I got to grasp the handle, and to start to pull it open...I think of blinding light, but my mind might just be adding that. All I know for sure, is I never got to see what was behind that door.
2003 Dreams
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