07/23/01
Ritual Abuse Book Report


Okay, this is a bit complex just because...I can't remember it very well. :) I looked at my notes and said to myself, "WTF??" Then I looked them over again and remembered, but just a tad. Let me include my notes first so you'll see what I mean (I was half asleep while I wrote them):

"library, class, RA bk., lesson--have to read bks & report to teacher--no 1 listening to me, blow up e-mail?, have to ready (sic) story repeatedly, girl & sheep (?)?, 'I don't WANT to read this!', crying, teach. doesn't give up, I finally read, tiny bk. about survivors."

See what I have to put up with every day? :)

Anyway...this dream had something to do with a ritual abuse book, that's for certain. I guess I was in some kind of class at high school (?) and had to read something, perhaps aloud, and then give a report or something for the teacher. I don't know what this means by no one listening to me. Perhaps I was reading it aloud and nobody was paying attention? That would manage to piss me off. I think by "ready story" I really meant "READ" and I had to keep reading parts of it over and over again--so yes, perhaps these others weren't listening to me. By "girl & sheep(?) ?"--this may be connected to several incidents in real life where a person on a website continuously referred to me as a "sheep" since I agreed with people who disagreed with her. (She apparently hasn't been able to figure out that I don't agree with them because they disagree with her--I disagree with her first, so by DEFAULT I agree with them!) This has irritated me no end, so that may be what the sheep in my dream represented, if there really was a sheep there, and if it really was a sheep. Truthfully I don't know. (I feel the girl with it was snobby, so may have represented "HER.")

Anyway, I ended up saying to the teacher, "I don't WANT to read this!" and then started crying because nobody was listening!! I'm not sure if it was the topic matter (which is odd, because the subject of ritual abuse interests me), or just because of the lack of attention. In any case the teacher didn't give up, and kept persisting in telling me to go on. For some reason this didn't infuriate me and I guess I finished reading the book. Near the end of this dream I seemed to be in an old library or used books store, by the shelf, and found a very, very small book about ritual abuse, written for survivors--one of those self-help-type things. VERY small--perhaps three inches tall? Hardcover; pale color, like ecru or dirty tannish-grayish-white; rough cover, like cloth. (So okay, maybe cloth cover and not hardcover! :P ) Unlike before, I felt interested in this book (at least I wouldn't have to do a report on it!), and picked it up, wanting to read it.

There was also something in there about...blowing up an e-mail inbox. I guess at one point, I thought I had blown up somebody's/my inbox. o_o Not sure about that one...




It's A Dream; Why Didn't I Just Shrink?


These are the notes I took for this dream:

"big container in cabinet, wanna get in, Dad--'Too big,' notebooks w/in, rec./watch TV shows, lots to watch."

This one concerned this big container of some sort I found in the cabinet along the wall, under the windows in our living room. The cabinet must have been WAY bigger than it really is to accommodate such a thing, as it was HUGE. It was plastic, rounded somewhat on top but flat on the sides, perhaps three or so feet wide, and with some kind of opening(s) cut into it so someone could get inside. Like a weird car or something. Light colored, perhaps yellow or lime green. I stared at it with curiosity and noticed that there was a stack of brand new five-subject spiral-bound notebooks inside. I'm not sure if I took them out or not, but I was intrigued and wanted to get inside myself. I think I had started to try climbing in when Dad, nearby, shook his head and said, "You're too big" (or else "It's too small"). He was right, of course; it had been bigger when I first saw it, but now that I wanted in it was smaller, JUST too small for me to fit in. :(

Probably in this same dream I was getting ready to record my shows on TV, when I suddenly realized I hadn't watched what I had on tape yet. (In real life I record shows over and over until they're "glitchless"--so I have to watch the recording before the episode airs again, to make sure it's satisfactory--yes, I'm obsessive.) Uh-oh! How would I know what I wanted to record when I hadn't watched the tapes to look for glitches?? I think my shows weren't going to be on for an hour or so yet--I must have been up early though it seemed to be late afternoon outside, the lights were on--so I hastened around looking for the tapes and the episodes I needed to watch. I realized that I had a LOT of things to watch before they came on the air! At least three episodes, perhaps more. Needless to say I was in a hurry and had to get those things in the VCR to watch them FAST!

And that was it. :)



2001 Dreams
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