Mom, You Are NOT Austin Powers

I had so many of them last night, I don't know if I can describe them all...not all at once, at least... -_-

In this dream: Dad was getting ready to go to work. I was on the computer, online, doing something that held most of my attention, so I was mildly irritated at having to get up to say goodbye. In real life Dad took a bowl of noodles or something out of the fridge and left it on the counter and STILL no one has thrown it away so it's sitting there reeking. It's really irritating me. In the dream, HE was the one who complained about it being left out; I'm not sure if I told him that HE left it out in the first place. He kept nagging about it and whenever I said something he would say, "No, THIS bowl of food," like there was more than one. We got over that part and I went to the back porch door to "see him off." I had a different view; I could see the mailbox out the back door window, instead of the pavement. The door also seemed to be the old brown wooden one we used to have. From here I could see first one package, like for a book, and then two in the side mailbox that usually holds the Shopper's Fair. "There's a package out there," I said, curious, wondering if it was for me.

"I know," Dad said. "That's why I'm leaving earlier, so I could put it out in the mailbox and bla bla bla."

I forget what he said. <:) But the package had been placed there by HIM, not by the mailman. I was a tad disappointed. I noticed he held a letter/envelope in his hand, which he wasn't mailing; I think he'd checked the mail and that had been there. I think he also showed it to me and I opened it and looked at it, but it was boring, some kind of form.

At this point I remembered something that happened in real life. When I got up to go to the bathroom before this dream, I noticed a funny creaking sort of sound coming at regular intervals from the wall. I still don't know what it was, but it sounded like somebody was in the house. I checked but found nothing, so... In my dream, it was as if I'd heard this noise from my bedroom instead, and thought that it must have been Dad taking his shower before going to work. But...I had been in to wash my hair, and I had never had to time it with Dad's shower in mind...so...when DID he take his shower? I was confused by that one.

We went outside onto the pavement. It was sunny outside but seemed to be spring, dry and bare. I noticed now a cardboard box on the pavement, and Pepper, my cat, was inside it. There was a slit along the top and maybe holes in the sides and I could see her standing within. Now, I have no idea what she was doing in this box, but I feel Dad put her there for some reason. It wasn't meant to be mean; not sure what it was. He went over to do SOMETHING, while I went over and put my hand inside the box to pet her. When I did this, she managed to get out, and started wandering around. I had to keep an eye on her to make sure she didn't get lost or hurt.

Now a car came along the sideroad, zooming ALL over the place, along the road, over the curb, into yards, etc. Ma was the driver. She seemed to be having all sorts of fun. Several times I had to hurry and snatch Pepper out of the way or she would have been run over. Ma didn't even seem to have any idea of what she was doing. She finally stopped and got out of the car, and...she was talking like Austin Powers! o_O Nope, can't explain it. She swaggered around talking all weird and I went up to her and started thrashing her out about how stupid she was for not being more careful--she could have killed Pepper! She seemed to be surprised that she'd put anybody, even herself, in danger.

Bonus Tracks

I was in my room in the very early morning listening to music before it got light outside. I had already listened to part of the Goonies soundtrack. ^_^; I can't help it; I like that song. I turned on the lights and dug around for another tape, another song to listen to before it got too light. I saw my Enya tapes and then I saw this old mix tape somebody had made, but then it was like a factory-produced tape. I picked it up and looked it over curiously; I'd forgotten it. I realized it had an oldies song on it that I really liked and hadn't listened to in a long time. I wanted to rewind the tape to the right part to listen to it, but some of the songs were unlisted. Including the one I liked. They were included as "bonus tracks" and there were about four or five of them--unlisted! What order were they in? What a stupid move! I noticed that Cyndi Lauper's Goonies song was on this tape as well, and decided to listen to that again--maybe it was different. It was rewound to about that part. I put it in and pushed play. The beginning of the song may have been slightly different, but the rest was the same; only it had more bass in it, and the recording was fuzzier. I liked the extra bass, but not the fuzziness, which kept alternating. It would clear up, then get fuzzy again; like a really old tape. Still, I enjoyed listening to the song. It was getting light outside, so I couldn't listen to more music, SO I got ready to put my stuff away for the night.

If they were not in fact the same dream, this dream may have then shifted into "Fire In The Sky."

Fire In The Sky

If they were not the same dream, this dream may have shifted out of "Bonus Tracks."

I can't remember this dream, what I wrote down. I have "talking w/ Ma and Dad, relative in S.?" I was talking to them, yes, but what's that "relative in S." part? No idea. (OH! I think I remember what I meant by "relative in S." I meant "relative in the south." I have a lot of relatives in Texas and Georgia, so perhaps it had something to do with them.) I was out in the living room telling them the "Austin Powers" dream, "Mom, You Are NOT Austin Powers." I made quite a point of strutting around talking in his accent. Again, Dad was getting ready to go to work, but it was evening in this dream. Because I went outside to TAKE PICTURES OF THE SUNSET before he was to leave. (SUNSETS again!!) I saw that the sky was turning all shades of red out the window, got the camera, and went out. It was autumn in this dream, definitely autumn. The trees were all aflame, the same as the sky. This would make a GORGEOUS picture! I aimed the camera almost straight upward at the brightest area and started snapping. The clouds were thick and swirly, covering the sky, red and orange with a tint of gray. They looked like they'd been manipulated with a computer, strange, I can't describe it. I kept framing the leaves against the sky to best capture the image. At this point I went back inside to say goodbye to Dad, I think; I went through the living room and nearly knocked over my plants sitting by the lamp, as the camera now had a long cord attached to the wall, and it was attached by the plants. I kept trying to pull out more of it--it was this really long, thick, round black cord--and had to search around for more of it, disentangling it from around the plants. That was when I noticed there were some weird plants there I'd never seen before! First it was just one tiny little potted plant, a cute little thing similar to a flower I had before that died. Then there was another one, and then a bigger green plant, then one just getting ready to flower--looked sort of like a Christmas cactus, only with pale lavender blooms--"Where did these come from? Did you bring all these plants home, Ma?" I called, flustered. She looked in to see what I was talking about but never seemed to answer in the affirmative. I was annoyed. "Sheesh, most of my other plants are finally dying so I don't have to take care of them anymore, and you bring me MORE??" That was kind of...mean of me...but I really didn't want any more plants to care for when they keep dying on me! In any case, I got the cord sorted out, said goodbye to Dad, and went back outside to watch him drive past the house. He did so, honking, and I watched him disappear in the south, then started taking pics again.

The sky had gotten even weirder looking. I looked almost straight up, facing east, and it was weirdly mottled, large rough circular patterns of all sorts of colors, pink, gray, red, orange. How bizarre! I thought they looked sort of like flowers, roses arranged to make a parade float; I snapped a picture, then looked at the preview to see that they really WERE giant roses! My eyes must have goggled. They were just an abstract pattern in the sky, but in the picture, they were clearly flowers. (It's like I was looking at a much bigger surface than the preview screen, perhaps even the sky itself.) I looked upward, to the left of the flower pattern, to see a repeating pattern of what seemed to be a child's/baby's face in profile, very blurry, but incredibly strange nonetheless. The leaves and certain parts of the sky looked as if they were on fire, literally.

I can't remember this part very well either. I may have gone back inside and we were talking about relatives of mine, about some kind of trip we were going to go on, and I didn't want to go for some reason.

If they were not in fact the same dream (which they may very well have been), this dream may have then shifted into "Mooning Over Damien."

Mooning Over Damien

If they were not in fact the same dream (which they very well could have been), then this may have shifted out of "Fire In The Sky."

This dream is very out of order. I thought I saw some boxes near the side of the room, on the floor under the furthest north window, and they had tapes or something stacked inside them. But that may be in a later part of the dream. There was some sort of cloth banner...this gets so confusing. It may be a different dream because it had to do with another site I post on. The banner (it made me think of those "endless loops" of cloth in towel machines in some bathrooms, that you wipe your hands on) was the statistics of certain users, but then just one. I can't recall his username. He had been on the site a while ago but hadn't been back in some time. A shame, since he'd answered over 1000 questions. The banner gave all the profile information he entered. (The banner was silver, perhaps with blue print.) He said, "I answered over 1000 (it was something more like 1038) questions here within about 2-1/2 months." He then figured that out mathematically and somehow it figured out to about ten questions a minute! Yes, the math is way off, but it calculated properly in my dream, this guy was smart. He made a sort of observation about that amount, about how HUGE it was, meaning he must spend a LOT of time on the site. He said his friends said he looked like "Damien" (Sam Neill's character from the Omen movies, I guess), and also commented rather humorously about that. That really intrigued me. I started scanning the banner, running it through my hands, searching for a possible picture. (I seemed to be in a different place when I was doing this. Not sure where.) I finally found one. He was cute! Thin but not scrawny, this funny spiky disheveled black hair, and he wore these shades so I couldn't see his eyes. (In one of the later pictures, his glasses were tilted down a bit so I could finally see his eyes. I had the impression he did not WANT people to see them, for some reason, and I was a bit leery of seeing them myself, lest my pleasant impression of him be shattered if he had ugly/cruel eyes...but I think they looked all right, just tired.) He said, "This is an older picture of me. I have some newer ones where you can see my hair more"--uh...I can't remember the adjective he used, but it meant shorter, more like a crewcut. Sheesh I wish I could remember the term. That made me a bit sad, as I thought he looked cute enough with this haircut. Still, I kept looking down, down the banner, for more info. And there were more pictures of him. One of him with shorter hair (though not as short as he'd described), one of him with his girlfriend (THAT made me very very sad!), and at least one more with him, his girlfriend, and her friend, another girl. His girlfriend, or perhaps the other friend, had sandy blond, soft straight longish hair, and was kind of chubby but not ugly. In the third picture they were all sitting on a couch or something, him and one of the girls sitting up, the other one sprawled across in front of them playfully. They weren't smiling very much. I peered at the picture more closely to make out the details. At first it was like I could see a bed in the background, so they must have been in a bedroom; the color scheme was oranges and reds and kind of icky, IMO. The bed had a white throw of some kind covering it, like a lacy shawl, but the spread underneath may have been tomato red. The carpeting matched everything else. Then I could see books on the shelf behind them and started trying to see what they were about. I can't remember them now.

I thought that I would really like this guy to come back to the site; he seemed really interesting and friendly, from his profile. And I was actually JEALOUS of his girlfriend!

(It was probably only because somebody connected him with the name "Damien." ^_^ )

Anyway, now I went out in the kitchen, and the dream had something to do with a user on the site, they'll remain unnamed. I can't recall what it had to do with them specifically anyway. They may have been here, talking, or something. And Pepper may have had something to do with it too...this part of the dream is very vague.

I went back into the living room. Now may be the part with the box full of videocassette tapes. There were two boxes, I think. There was something to do with dogs, perhaps a Lab or retriever and definitely a dachshund, a brown one. I have written down "pairing up, pet food, me holding/petting Pepper, ?" I think different dogs were pairing up to go on dates or something; it made me think of ads for that movie Cats & Dogs. Can't recall the specifics here. I also think I was holding and petting my cat at one point.

They showed an ad on TV now, showing some German or Nazi stuff with swastikas, and then there was a placard or sign or something with racist words on it. I believe at least two of them were "dago" and "kike." But the camera was panning over this, very cheesily blurring out the "offensive" parts one by one, and so these words were plainly VISIBLE at first! Until they reached the middle of the screen (the image moved from right to left), then they were blurred over. I started laughing and trying to explain it to Ma. "First they showed the words, THEN they blurred them out!" I said. "Some good job THEY'RE doing of 'protecting the masses'!" I tried to say the words they'd blurred out, but I got the "dago" part wrong first. I said something else, or perhaps Ma said something else and I corrected her.

(This "commercial" or whatever it was (like an infomercial) made me think of the auctions of Nazi memorabilia they're trying to (or have already?) ban on Yahoo!, though it may not have been the same thing. The program wasn't trying to be offensive, which was why they blurred out the racist words, but as I said they did a lousy job of it!)

I Tape Too Much

I suppose in one dream (possibly related to an earlier one) I was describing my dreams to someone, probably Ma, and perhaps writing them down as well. Then ('nother part) I had to...record Dragon Ball Z. Is it just me or is this like Groundhog Day or something? In any case I started recording, and it looked as if I were recording the right program, but then they showed an ad for Kids' WB so I thought I was recording that instead. I think they showed DBZ on both channels in my dream. So perhaps I was recording the wrong show. I think I stopped the recording and started rewinding it to see (perhaps I stopped it on a commercial break so I wouldn't interrupt the show), but found out, no, I was recording the right program after all. Apparently I was WATCHING Kids' WB, but not recording it. So I had to get the tape to the right place and start recording again. I thought I would miss part of the show, but I don't believe I did. My good luck.

Bathing In My Pants

One dream involved me taking a bath, while wearing this pair of sweatpants. I appeared to be fully clothed, but it's only the pants that I remember. I sat in the tub, legs stretched out before me aimed at the drain, with these gray sweatpants. They were dirty; smudges of dark soil ran across the front of them. Yet for some reason I suddenly realized this situation was odd, and didn't want to get them all wet (even though, sitting in the water, it was pretty much impossible to prevent it now). So I rolled them up my legs and lathered my legs up with soap, trying to keep the soap off the pants. I feel I was getting ready for SOMETHING important, perhaps going somewhere, but I don't know what it was.

The Orange Powder

In one dream Ma and/or myself was sent, via mail (?), this strange plastic container with orange powder inside. It was kind of round--not like a ball, but round in shape, not perfectly flat, about an inch and a half or two inches thick, perhaps more; plastic; the top was frosted clear plastic and snapped off of the bottom, which may have been opaque orange. Between four and six inches wide, perhaps with a flat bottom so it could rest on things. It may also have had a design "embossed" on the translucent plastic top, like waves or something.

I carried it through the kitchen into the living room with some curiosity. The orange powder inside looked like Tang, and I got the feeling it was some kind of strange orange chocolate milk mix. Which sounded pretty good. I popped off the top and Ma joined me, but then one of us made the comment that we didn't really know the guy who had sent this--I think his name may have been Robert something--so...this strange guy sends us this weird orange powder, could it be poison? We thought this might be the case, so drinking the stuff wouldn't be a good idea. Slowly reaching my arms further away from myself, I closed the container carefully, but some of the fine orange powder drifted into the air, and I breathed a tiny bit in. Instantly I was full of anxiety and dread. It could have a virus in it or something, and I could have caught it already. Feeling as if I were already doomed, I set the container down (I remained calm, but only because I believed everything was over) and despite my lack of hope started looking around for the emergency number to call. It wasn't just 911 (our emergency number here isn't just 911 anyway, we have to dial the whole seven digits). It took some looking, perhaps Ma helped, but I finally located it and was going to call. I have written down "going to leave," so perhaps I was going to call, then go to the hospital or something? Not sure. At this point I also located another cloth banner like in my "Mooning Over Damien" dream or perhaps just a paper/poster outlining how a knight is supposed to be treated by a lady--I think the lady was supposed to dress in purple, stay with him (or he with her?) for two weeks, etc. I can't be sure that "stay for 2 wks" is meant for the knight and lady or for me. I think it was the latter. This bit of information about knights and ladies had something to do with my own situation; I think it applied to sick knights and the ladies that helped them.

Men Drooling Badly

In a small dream there was some sort of strange "comedy" show on TV, and it showed two guys on a football field, both big, at least one mustached. One of them was hunched over and drooling like mad, this long thick strand of drool coursing from his mouth; he looked more like a strange lanky animal than a man when he did that. I found out he was "mimicking" the other guy, who had some kind of problem that caused him to drool. I thought this was exceedingly cruel, but it was supposedly meant in good fun, and the other guy, standing right there, was smiling (he may have been mentally handicapped), and even started drooling himself. He makes me think of that football player, Butkus I think it is. He looked sort of like him only not as brawny. He and this other guy just hunched on the field, drooling.

I have written down "drooling guy is guy's son." I can't recall that very well. I know the drooling guy was somebody's son, but whose--the other guy being funny, or somebody else--I'm not sure.

This dream may have then shifted into "Whose Themes Are These?"

Whose Themes Are These?

This dream may have shifted out of "Men Drooling Badly."

This one had me sitting up in bed (at night?) with the notebook or a piece of paper, jotting down what I'd dreamed, then jotting down the different "themes" that had popped up in my dreams, themes that recur from time to time. I remember writing down "NFL, food, darkness falling," specifically; there were more terms I forget. These three were supposed to be themes that I find in my dreams. Now--darkness falling, I agree, that's one of my themes. But--food? Everybody dreams about food, there's nothing special when I dream about it--I don't think of it as a theme. And--NFL? Wha? I NEVER dream about the NFL. I believe this had to do with the two guys on the football field in my "Men Drooling Badly" dream, but in this dream, NFL WAS a recurring theme of mine. I was outlining all of these in addition to describing my dreams, in an attempt to understand them better. Though it ended up being pretty weird.

2001 Dreams