12/29/00
High School Revenge


Note: I was in a bad mood when I wrote this one.

Forgive me for taking up a soapbox of my own, but I've had a few dreams lately I've been wanting to get off my back. If anybody wouldn't mind offering me some feedback on them, I'd appreciate it.

In one of them I was at high school getting ready for class. It was in between classes and the hallways were busy. I was at my locker getting books or something...usually in dreams like this I can't get the combination, or find my locker, or find what I need in the locker--it's a kind of anxiety dream, in that I won't be on time. Anyway, a student I knew in real life--AmyJo--she used to be a snob toward me but later on she mellowed out some--she came up to me in the dream and just BUMPED into me, shoving me far to the side, away from my locker. She did it deliberately, but of course she was really snotty about it and made it look "accidental," in a smirky way. But it was more than just a little bump. She pushed up against my side and just SHOVED me away from my locker by several feet. "Oooooops." It really pissed me off but there was nothing I could do except go back to my locker; I didn't want to be late. But I was very angry and wanted to get back at her.

A little bit of time passed; I'm not sure how I wasn't late. But AmyJo walked by behind me, on her way down the hall; I thought to myself how lovely it would be to get back at her; and almost without thinking (or perhaps I was?), I stuck out my leg behind me and she TRIPPED over it!! "Whoops!" I grinned to myself--that felt GOOD!--but let's face it, no matter how much I may want to get back at lots of people, vengeance just isn't my bag. If for the sole reason that I always fear getting caught. I got away with it this time, and it was pretty much justified, and it felt GREAT! Yet I know I could never do something like this in real life. I've never even been able to get this kind of revenge in any other dreams of mine. How did I do it *this* time?

This is rather annoying...I had another dream I wanted to share, from a while back, but I can't remember it right now. Maybe I will later on, in which case I'll add it on here. *sigh*




Return Of The Watchers


Here's a dream that I had just last night that's sticking with me.

An old recurring theme in my dreams is the dream where people are WATCHING me, and I can't escape their gaze. Classic example: I get home from school and the other kids on the bus get off too, and they come around my house to bother me. I go inside, lock the door, and try to either cover or stay away from the windows, but no matter where I go or hide, they're at all the windows, peering in; it's like they can hear where I am, and they go to the appropriate window; and if the windows are covered, there's a way to peek in a crack or something. In the worst ones, they actually COME IN the house. I so dread confronting them--it's especially humiliating when I'm certain I've locked them out, yet I haven't. I HATE these dreams.

Well, I had another one last night. :(

This one started out a LOT better than usual. For one thing, I was with Dad, so I wasn't alone to face the "undesirables." For another, I appeared to be in control. I had a remote control in my hand that manipulated the window blinds. I pressed a button and the blinds closed! COOL! The teenagers, kids, whatever they were came up to the utility room windows (you can't look in these in real life, they're too high, but they weren't in the dream) and started peering in; I just took the control, pressed the button, and the blinds slowly closed before they could see me within. I smiled to myself as I proceeded to do this with all the windows, one after another. I went to the door and locked it for good measure; who's to say these weirdos wouldn't try getting in? Then Dad and I went further inside the house to do something else.

Well...a few minutes later I saw the door opening. I hadn't locked it properly, and now the people were coming in. My worst fears realized. Not only were these strangers coming in--they might only taunt me, but they *could* be dangerous--but I would have to face them, and I would also be faced with the humiliation of having been certain I'd effectively locked them out when I hadn't. That was the worst part, my SURENESS in my solution to the problem, and then finding out I hadn't solved anything at all! I KNEW they would laugh at me for that--"You thought you had us locked out? Ha ha, think again, you couldn't even do *that* right!" That is always the worst part of the dream, even more so than being watched by these threatening strangers.

Like I said, I've had this kind of dream before, the characters and situation vary but the theme is the same; in one of the worst I was sitting in an empty car, surrounded by little kids peering in the windows and knocking on the glass and calling my name; all I could do was hide my head and pray they'd go away, which they didn't. It was HORRIBLE. In another one I ran to Dad to ask for his help, but he was asleep and wouldn't wake up, I was left to fend for myself. In yet ANOTHER one it was the Men In Black who were peering in the window, and I was hiding just below it, pressing myself against the wall so they couldn't see me!! (But it's usually kids or teenagers--people somehow BENT on harassing me--that I'm hiding from.) I just wonder why I have some of these recurring themes, what they mean?

It's probably obvious, something to do with my avoidance, but anyway, if anybody has anything to contribute, feel free...I'm lousy at analyzing my own dreams.

I just wish I could remember that other one...



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