06/15/00
I Was Sailor Mercury, Dammit!!

[Note: This dream was written down using excessive sarcasm meant for humorous effect.]

I remember this one dream I had a year or so back...I was with the Sailor Scouts, in the parking lot at Glen's, and I suddenly realized that I too was a Sailor Scout. Thing is--I was Sailor Mercury. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?? I know she's the one I'm most like in temperament...but I REALLY wanted to be Sailor Jupiter--you know--KICK BUTT!! Anyways, I look more like Sailor Jupiter too. >:P

But of course, since we were Sailor Scouts, we had to go stop a bad guy--or help a good guy--or somethin'. There was this big wall or something off to the side, and we went running toward it. There was this elderly man in need of help--a monster--a yoma--whatever--was attacking his building, ruining his warehouse, WHATEVER, it was just plain doing something bad, okay? Somebody--Sailor Moon, probably--turned to me and said, "Well, come on!"

Oh, yeah, right--"MERCURY BUBBLES BLAST!!" Jeez, I get to be a Sailor Scout and I just about forget to do my stinkin' job. Sheesh.

In any case, we ended up defeating the monster. All of us went over to this old man to see if he was all right. And what does he have to say to us?

"LOOK WHAT A MESS YOU MADE OF MY WAREHOUSE!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT'LL TAKE ME TO CLEAN THIS ALL UP?? YOU STUPID LITTLE GIRLS IN YOUR STUPID LITTLE CHEERLEADER SUITS!!"

(Okay, I added that last part myself. But...I think this needed some spicing up, okay?)

At which we all looked at each other while he walked away. "Well, you're WELCOME!" I called after him, in my best Sailor Mercury-acting-as-Sailor-Jupiter voice, and I'm sure my Sailor friends concurred.

What a ripoff. I really should have been Sailor Jupiter. I could have kicked that guy's butt into next Tuesday. "HII-YAAAAA!!" Watch my pretty little green boots fly!!



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